Jose Canseco is now officially a woman. While the majority of the disgraced slugger’s tweets fall into the “begging for a job…any job” category, a couple of them provided an interesting look into the gender altering effects resulting from a lifetime of steroid abuse. Besides the obvious differences such as facial hair and watching “The Bachelor”, the single biggest differentiator between males and females is the level of testosterone. A typical man Canseco’s age has roughly 600 ng/dl, while a woman has around 70 ng/dl. Turns out that without the aid of horse hormones, Jose’s shrunken little excuses for testes can only churn out 150 ng/dl, so he is officially closer to being a woman than a man.
Tight end running a curl.....tight end running a curl...
Surely this cannot go unpunished. In a recent interview with The Orlando Sentinel’s Jeremy Fowler, Florida receiver Deonte Thompson took a serious dig at outgoing QB/Moyle Tim Tebow. In an article that was critical of Tebow’s inabilityto read through receiver progressions, Thompson stated, “With Brantley, everything’s with rhythm, time. You know what I mean, a real quarterback.” Ouch. Wonder how this will play with a head coach suffering postpartum depression?
UPDATE: Apparently it didn’t play well with postpartum Meyer, and it did not go unpunished. At UF spring practice yesterday, a livid Meyer went off on Orlando Sentinel reporter Jeremy Fowler, who was responsible for writing such a harshlyslightly critical article about Meyer’s favorite moyle. Meyer even went so far as to threaten physical violence if it had been his own son. The following is the transcript from the incident, with accompanying video:
Meyer: “You’ll be out of practice … you understand that? … if you do that again. I told you five years ago: Don’t mess with our players. Don’t do it. You did it. You do it one more time and the Orlando Sentinel’s not welcome here ever again. Is that clear? It’s yes or no.”
Fowler: “Urban, come on. Don’t make any threats. That’s fine. I’ll play by rules.”
Meyer: “What’s that?”
Fowler: “I’ll play by rules, but all I was doing is quoting the guy. I don’t think I was the only one.”
Meyer: “You’re a bad guy, man. You’re a bad guy.”
Fowler: “Thanks, Urban. I appreciate that.”
Meyer: “Maybe when you get a chance, call his family and all that and help them out with it. The kid has never been in trouble one time. He’s a great student, a great kid and you’re going to do that?
“If that was my son, we’d be going at it right now.”
While mainstream media recently reported that students at the University of Mississippi have voted to replace Colonel Reb with a more politically correct mascot, the truth is that the students have voted to simply have a mascot after University officials banned the Colonel in 2003, citing the mascot’s likeness to a pre civil war plantation, AKA, slave owner. While the University still profits by selling the perceived likeness of a possible slave owner on bumper stickers, tee shirts, etc., Ole Miss sports teams have been forced to compete for seven years without a sweat soaked, vision impaired caricature scaring the piss out of every child in the first ten rows. Continue reading Slave Owning Mascots: Ole Miss vs Michigan State
So we all know by now that Tiger Woods enjoys hooking up with classless tramps whose lack of self respect lends them to a sex life based solely on money. But enough about Elin, he also likes to pee on pornstars. In her new website, sex-for-money gold-digger Elin Woods Joslyn James has published text messages she received from Nike’s favorite pitch-man… Continue reading Peeing Tiger, Crouching Pornstar
USC sophomore linebacker Jarvis Jones is either really really really gay and equally open about it, or the former prep All-American is the victim of a really really really cruel Myspace hoax. A Myspace account in his name posts several less than hetero pictures of the football player in addition to the declaration of bisexual orientation.
A person close to the Lane Kiffin situation would like to get a look at the skeletons in Kiffin’s closet. He would also like to share them with the public. A public that includes the NCAA and USC board of trustees. He is offering $1000 for info on Lane if that information eventually leads to his firing at USC. While incriminating photos of Kiffin with a girlfriend are encouraged, incriminating photos of Kiffin with a boyfriend are really, really encouraged. Send your Kiffin dirt to kiffinsskeletons@hotmail.com If, however, you would rather contact Lane Kiffin and offer your congratulations, he can be reached at: ph-(213) 740-4204 fax- (213)740-6665 email- kiffin@usc.edu
Recently, former Texas Tech head football coach Mike Leach portrayed his firing as an orchestrated event with ESPN college football analyst and ultimate “little league dad” Craig James as the force behind his dismissal. According to Leach, Craig James had been disappointed by the lack of playing time for his son Adam, a seldom used receiver for the Red Raiders. Leach stated that “I think he used his position at ESPN to try to coerce me into allowing Adam to play more,” and when Leach didn’t comply with his demands for special treatment, Leach says that James attempted to apply more pressure. “He made it clear that he had a business relationship with our chancellor or certainly was in conversation about such things.” Aided by lingering resentment caused
Storylines galore exist as storied football giants Alabama (13-0) and Texas (13-0) are on a colossal collision course for the BCS national championship. It’s #1 versus #2. SEC versus Big 12. Heismann Trophy jinx. Saban versus disciple Muschamp. McElroy against McCoy. David versus Goliath? As anticipation Continue reading Hype, Hoopla, Clutter and Kool-Aide
Associate Athletic Director for Compliance Brian Battle has informed 13psi that Florida State University is no longer actively recruiting Booker T. Washington (Miami) DE prospect Lynden Trail. Trail made national news when 13psi reported the Florida Gators’ recruit had ties to a Miami/Overtown street gang.
Sorry Colts fans, but it was all about the money. Jim Caldwell and president Bill Polian weren’t lying to the Jets all week in the spirit of competetive advantage. They were lying to YOU. When they told you that only injured starters would get a rest, it wasn’t a ploy to spring secret offensive weapon Curtis Painter on them. It was a ploy to have you show up and spend your hard earned money at a game that they had secretly deemed meaningless. While you were hoping for an undefeated season and your place in the record books, they were hoping you would show up for a game they cared nothing about winning and buy $8 beers and $6 pizza slices. That you did. It was all about the money.
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